


Farmer Joe

by inkjunket



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Community: wip_amnesty, M/M, farming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 20:53:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1722185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkjunket/pseuds/inkjunket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Young Wild Things tour, Patrick goes straight into producing the new Gym Class album and a few other projects; Pete shifts full-gear into Clandestine and Ashlee mode; Andy gets "fuck city" tattooed on his fingers; and Joe spends two months on an organic farm in Costa Rica. When he gets back to the States, he finds a plot of 5 acres in Connecticut with an agricultural lein on the land.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Farmer Joe

**Author's Note:**

> This is a wip posted for WIP Amnesty 2014. If reading something that's unfinished and includes my notes to myself in ALL CAPS in the middle of things like WHAT KIND OF HOT BEVERAGE SHOULD ANDY AND JOE HAVE FOR BREAKFAST bothers you, then consider yourself warned. 
> 
> This fic was my happy place for ages, but it's a long slow build without the necessary stuff to get to an actual ending.

After the Young Wild Things tour, Patrick goes straight into producing the new Gym Class album and a few other projects; Pete shifts full-gear into Clandestine and Ashlee mode; Andy gets "fuck city" tattooed on his fingers; and Joe spends two months on an organic farm in Costa Rica. When he gets back to the States, he finds a plot of 5 acres in Connecticut with an agricultural lein on the land. It's only about an hour out of New York City on the Metro North rail, although Joe doesn't delude himself that friends coming to the city for the weekend are really going to find it convenient to stay with him. There's a rambling farmhouse that probably used to house a family of 12 or more, and in his head he's got marked off rooms for Pete, Patrick and Andy too, even though it's been a long time since the three of them shared an apartment. He even puts four bunkbeds in a spare room, just because he can. Joe has the run-down barn wired for heat and electricity, and because he's a rock star, adds in a sound-proof practice space that can double as a recording studio. After this many years on the road with Andy, he knows he's not going to keep animals, even though he still eats them, so he really only needs a small portion of the barn to house his farm equipment.

[Andy starts on some secret side project which may be a secret or may just be Andy being his usual mild-mannered and not very communicative self;] He kind of goes on a whim, wanting to be someplace warm and miss a bit of the Chicago winter, but it turns out Joe kind of really likes getting his hands dirty (and his feet, and arms, and all of his clothes), and no one on the farm cares that he's a rock star, so he can just be himself, and weed the carrot beds, and have a whole lot of time to think. He starts spending most of his time as the farm manager's right-hand man, trying to soak up as much as he can, because he's kind of falling in love with this whole growing-your-own-food thing.

What he ends up thinking is a scheme that have his parents laughing and then sobering up quickly and asking if he knows what he's getting into. ]

 

It's only mid-March, but he's realizing he's got a lot to learn about northeastern farming techniques. For one, he suspects COSTA RICAN PRODUCE won't take very kindly to the short growing season. He pores over the NAME seed catalog as his evening reading.

"Joseph Trohman, you're a farmer!" Pete says when he calls next. Joe has to sit by the drafty kitchen window he hasn't patched up yet because his cell phone gets crappy reception in most other parts of the house. Joe pulls up his laptop and looks through the pictures of new Clan gear that Pete sends his way, and they talk for a while about nothing before they hang up. Hearing Pete's voice makes Joe realize how much he misses the other guys, and how quiet it is here now that all the work is done on the barn, and maybe if he was going to start a farm, he should have picked someplace a little closer to home, where he could at least sweet-talk a home-cooked meal from his mom every once in a while. He looks out at the snow blanketing the field outside, and doesn't really know if he's done something completely stupid or completely right. Or both.

Two days later, when Joe is starting to wonder when the dog-eared and well-worn seed catalog is going to start talking to him ("Buyyyyy the Sweet Queen variety Bluuuuuue, Joe!"), he calls Andy and invites him to come down, and to his surprise, Andy agrees easily.

"BAND NAME's doing good, but we've got some down time before we need to start practicing and gearing up for any shows. I can fly back for that." There's a grin in Andy's voice now. "Plus, I've got to see what you've got going on there."

Andy is awesome.

*

Andy's new tattoos are even more awesome in person than they were in the photos Andy sent him. Joe squints approvingly at Andy's hands first, then Andy pulls off his shirt to show him the additions to his back.

*

Joe moves in in the last week in March, and the place feels huge and quiet after the

He's barely had time to unpack a couple of the kitchen boxes when neighbors stop by - Dave and Samantha.

"Call me Sam," she says, extending a hand over her pregnant belly, "We brought some cake." Dave and Sam run the small 40-share CSA up the road. Dave’s an aspiring baker, but he suspects that with the baby on the way, they might not have much time soon for tackling that hobby as a value-added product for the farm. "Maybe in a year or two when the kidlet's old enough to knead dough."

Sam is a font of information on all things sustainable agriculture. She and Dave are not even hesitant to help Joe out even though Joe could represent competition - offers for Joe to join him in the farmer's market he does once a week in the city. Joe's been reading _Small Businesses for Dummies_ , and he's already got an idea that he doesn't really want to go to crazy on this whole farm thing when it's clear he doesn't yet know his ass from a scuffle hoe. He has a kernel of an idea that he shares with Sam, who is all enthusiasm, and gives him the numbers of a few food banks in the area who sometimes take their surplus after a slow day at the market or a few folks not picking up their shares. Joe makes the calls, and there's two food banks who are happy to have whatever veggies he wants to send their way over the summer, so that relieves one of Joe's question. He calls his accountant and tells her to figure out how she wants to claim that, and he decides not to tell his parents for the time being that he's not exactly making the most fiscally responsible decisions. They're just pleased he's invested in real estate.

*

Contradancing is awesome. It should be incredibly goofy, and it kind of is, but some people take it so seriously, and are such good dancers that Joe finds himself bouncing on his feet with his tongue between his teeth, trying to remember to do-si-do his partner in the right direction without kicking anyone in the shins. It turns out what Sam said is true - anyone can do it, and the caller teaches everyone the steps as the night goes on. Everyone's laughing and doing little flourishes when it's their turn to promenade up and down the line. Joe dances with Sam for a couple of dances, then with a couple of the other women when Sam sits down for some water and to fan herself; the room is heating up.

The best part, Joe decides, is the music. It's folksy and there's eight pieces in this band, two families and their kids playing various instruments, and it's not always right on tune or in tempo, but Joe can't help dancing when they play.

"Well?" Sam asks at the end of the night, when she and Joe and Dave all squish into the pickup truck to head home.

"I think I'm going to learn to play the fiddle," Joe tells her. She laughs.

*

Joe Netflixes "Fiddle for Beginners" and is actually pretty bad at it, even though it should in theory not be too far a cry from guitar. Sam takes pity on him and gives him some mini-lessons in exchange for a few mornings of weeding the beds. She's amazing with a fiddle.

Joe realizes he was being stupid. He pulls Dave and Sam into the barn one day, bringing them to the practice room, and they look around, amazed.

"We wondered what you were putting in here."

"You guys can use it any time," Joe offers.

Dave picks up a guitar, looking to Joe for permission before picking out a sweet little riff.

Sam whoops and picks up the fiddle, Joe snags another guitar, and they jam. It's awesome. But Joe feels more than a little homesick for his band, for doing this every day.

*

By mid-April, Joe's starting to go a little stir-crazy. It's not warm enough to actually be getting anything done, and Joe has basically planned all that he can plan for at this point. And it's still freezing out. He flies to Milwauke.

BAND NAME is actually sounding really good, although it does something strange to the pit of Joe's stomach to see Andy playing with another band, to see him joking around and then focusing, at the drums, the way he always does with Fall Out Boy. It makes his hands itch to get a guitar, but when one of the guys offers him his guitars to mess around with for a set, Joe just shakes his head and grins. They're good, and Andy looks like he's liking it, and Joe's not going to think about what all of this means - this, and Patrick's producing picking up, and Pete's many business ventures, and even Joe's farm - for the future of the band.

After practice, Joe follows Andy and Kyle AND MATT? AND WHO ELSE? to a little 24-hour diner called the Cow over the Moon that serves tofu scramble and home fries at 2 am. Andy shoves into the booth next to Joe, and their legs line up next to each other companionably, a habit from cramped buses and being in each other's space all the time. Andy smells like sweat and just plain Andy, so familiar and so much like home that Joe finds himself breathing in deeply. When the coffee comes, Andy curls his hand around his mug and "CITY" is prominently visible. Joe knows that there are tattoos on Andy that are about Fall Out Boy, and him, and their lives, but it feels strange that this new thing is so obvious, is now the first thing people probably notice about Andy. It gives him a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, but then Andy glances up at him, raises one eyebrow, and Joe feels himself smiling and shaking his head. Andy's still Andy, still theirs, still Joe's friend - best friend? - even if they have to share him with another band, another project.

 

*

When Joe gets back from Milwauke, he finds a note taped to his door that says, "The time has come. Stop by when you're back. - Dave" This sounds ominous and oddly dread-inspiring, but when Joe shows up at Dave and Sam's house, he's greeted with a hammer and nails again, and Dave's broadly grinning face.

"Let's get you a greenhouse, man," Dave says, and Sam hugs him to her quickly before shoving him out the door. The dilapidated greenhouse that runs alongside Joe's barn is sagging in places, with several windows broken, and tables (tray tables, Dave informs him, for seedlings) that look like they've been around since the Depression. But Dave has apparently been planning this, and he's got beams lined up, and a couple of his friends show up shortly thereafter, probably meaning Sam got on the phone and wrangled them into it the minute she saw Joe pull up the driveway. It looks like Joe's going to have an actual, real greenhouse.

Joe practically wants to cry when he sees the work that they're putting into it.

"I don't know how to thank you guys," Joe says, when they're finished two days later.

"They know where you live now. And they'll all be calling in favors when it's haying season," Dave says. Everyone grins but Joe doesn't really get it.

"What happens in haying season?" Joe asks, and they all laugh and clap him on the back one by one as they head out the door, wishing him good luck.

*

POTENTIAL FOR ANDY TO MISUNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF JOE'S RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OR BOTH OF HIS FARMY NEIGHBORS WHO HE SPENDS ALL OF HIS TIME WITH. SCENE WHERE HE COMES TO VISIT AND FINALLY FIGURES IT OUT, LOOKS RELIEVED, JOE DOESN'T GET IT BUT THE READER NOW SEES WHERE THIS IS HEADED...

*

All of Gym Class stop by on their way through Connecticut to home, and Joe puts them up for the night. SHENANIGANS ENSUE.

*

By the end of April, things are shifting into a higher gear. Joe starts spending his mornings with Sam and Dave, following them through all their preparations for the growing season, then returning to his land to mimic their processes in the afternoon. Joe spends cold, wet mornings in their greenhouse, learning how to seed different vegetables and leafy greens and lettuces AND PERMACULTURE PRACTICES. He loves the easy conversation with Sam and Dave and whatever local kid or neighbor they have in that day working alongside them. All their additional helpers are just volunteers - Dave and Sam couldn't afford to pay anyone in anything other than baked goods - but it just seems like the way things are done, someone coming for a visit and helping out on the farm because apparently you can talk and seed lettuce at the same time.

Joe finds himself talking about the band more than he thought he would; it's easy to talk about the little things, and he realizes he misses the guys FIX; HE ALREADY KNOWS HE MISSES THEM, though maybe touring life not so much still, because he can still remember the stink of unwashed bandmates and dirty buses. He hadn't realized he was talking more about anyone in particular, but at one point Sam says, "I like Andy. I think he's good for you," and Joe feels himself blush for some reason at the sideways smiling look she throws at him. TOO SOON FOR THIS COMMENT. INSERT LATER...

*

Dave plows up all of Joe's field for him, and in return, Joe spends three days sweating like crazy to put together the frame for Dave and Sam's new hoop house. Andy arrives when they've got the frame up, and it turns out Andy is a genius, like an artist with a hammer and nails, because things go triple-time with him there. Dave bakes him a vegan sugar plum cake ("Just for Andy!" he says, shaking a finger at Joe and passing him a couple date-oat squares as compensation instead), and Andy cradles the cake to him defensively. Joe just laughs at him.

The two of them collapse onto the couch that night and watch lame TV. Muscles Joe didn't even know he had are on fire, and he's going to have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to get started on planting the ground Dave turned up for him before the downpour expected for Monday hits. Joe's become obsessed with the AM weather alert station - he's always got it turned on low in the kitchen so he can hear the buzz when it starts to go.

For now, it just feels good to have his shoulder warmed by Andy's, the soothing glow of the TV bathing them.

*

Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, and Jon have a two day break between shows when they get to New England for the Honda Civic tour, and they decide to crash with Joe.

"We'll sleep the whole time," Jon promises when he calls. "You'll hardly know we're there."

But when they get there, Brendon starts bounding up and down the rows, asking what everything is, and they all offer to help out with something.

"Earn our keep, and such," Ryan says, so Joe scratches his head, pulls out his list of chores that he keeps in a little weathered notebook in his back pocket, and turns to Andy. Andy has his head cocked and is looking at Jon through narrowed eyes.

"Walker owes me on a bet, and I'm calling it in." Andy turns to Joe, and his grin is not a little sadistic. Jon groans. "Let's go till a bed by hand. It's gonna be fun."

Joe sets up Ryan and Spencer hoeing the leeks, in part because the leeks are starting to get lost in among all the lambsquarters and crab grass, but mainly because he knows they'll come up with some good hoe jokes to keep themselves entertained. Brendon he doesn't trust with any kind of sharp object near his precious, delicate leeks. He takes him to the greenhouse to collect the pepper [BRASSICAS? WHAT'S RIGHT FOR EARLY/MID MAY?] transplants they'll be planting in the fresh bed Andy and Jon are working on.

"You really like this," Brendon says, glancing at him sidelong as Joe passes him a tray of the striped purple peppers. Those better be totally awesome. Joe bought them on a whim.

"Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot," Joe says.

"And you're good at it."

Joe shrugs.

"And you're looking really good." Brendon waggles his eyes and leers now. "Nice tan, Troh."

"It only goes up to the sleeves, dude." Joe lifts his shirt. His shoulder is as white as the belly of a fish. It's kind of funny.

Brendon wrinkles his nose, and then says, "No, seriously, man, how about a greenhouse blowjob?"

Joe can't really say no to that.

Brendon grins, and takes a step forward, into Joe's space, putting the peppers onto the tray table behind Joe, then curls his arm around Joe's back as he tilts up his face to be kissed. Brendon's so much more self-assured, Joe thinks, as he puts his lips to Brendon's, biting a little and feeling the corresponding push of Brendon's body against his, pushing him up against the table. He remembers when this thing with Brendon first started, when Panic first went out on tour - Brendon's exploring-his-sexuality phase, which ended up really being Brendon's oh-hey-I'm-gay phase, which led to some serious make-out sessions and groping and eventual mutual orgasms. And yes, Brendon was a little young, and Joe's not proud of that, or anything, but he (mentally) challenges anyone to resist the seductive whiles and relative charm of one Brendon Urie.

Brendon licks a long stripe up Joe's neck before dropping to his knees and flicking open Joe's belt buckle. His mouth settles without any fanfare on the tip of Joe's cock and wow, Brendon's clearly been learning from someone since the last time they did this, because it is so so good, and there is no hint of teeth at all, and Joe's already starting to see stars from clenching his eyes tightly shut. He grips the edge of the table with white-knuckled fingers and tries hard not to buck up into Brendon's mouth, but when he does, Brendon just makes a muffled chuckling noise deep in his throat and takes Joe in further, snaking both hands around to grab Joe's ass and hips and get control over Joe's movement. Joe shifts one hand to touch Brendon's head, to cup his jaw, and Brendon speeds up, doing things with his tongue that are just dirty, and really, it's been so long since Joe had someone else touch his cock that it's pretty much impossible for him to not come immediately when Brendon presses a finger against Joe's hole. It feels so good, and Brendon just lets him ride out the waves of awesome before shimmying his body up along Joe's until he's standing pressed up against him, kissing him again. Brendon tastes salty and a little bitter, and it's not Joe's favorite thing to taste himself, but he really doesn't mind it now. Brendon's kisses are eager and aggressive, and as soon as Joe's knees stop feeling weak and wobbly, he shoves Brendon against the table, and gives as good as he got.

*

When they get back out into the field, Jon and Andy have half the bed tilled. They both have their shirts off and tucked into the back of their jeans, and have stopped to lean on their pitchforks, breathing heavily and with sweat running down their backs. Joe snags a water bottle and goes over to them. He's distracted by a bead of sweat rolling down between Andy's shoulder blades, before Andy turns and takes the water, tips his head back. Joe watches his throat work for a minute before he realizes he's doing it. Something clearly messed with his libido today. No more greenhouse blowjobs. NEED MORE INKLINGS OF ANDYLUST BEFORE THIS TO MAKE THIS OBVIOUS TRAIN OF THOUGHT BELIEVABLE.

Jon leers at him. "What took you guys so long?"

"Ha ha. Don't make me send you to Sam and Dave's to help turn their compost pile," Joe replies, and Jon looks sufficiently cowed by this, but Andy just looks confused, glancing at Jon, then Joe, and then Brendon, who's gone over to Spencer and Ryan and is now, Joe realizes with a sudden feeling of panic, reaching for a super pointy, super sharp, deadly diamond hoe.

"Hey!" Joe takes off running towards them, leaping over beds. "Don't you dare touch that hoe, Brendon!"

"That's what she said," Spencer says.

*

After dinner and several rounds of Guitar Hero, won handily by Spencer on guitar [CAN IT BE WON? I SHOULD TRY THE BATTLE OPTIONS FOR "RESEARCH" :) ], the bastard, everyone crashes on the couches in the living room while Joe puts in the latest thing from his Netflix queue - [MOVIE. Princess Bride? Juno? Superbad? Something they missed while on tour that everyone groans over?]. They're only about a half hour in before Joe's eyes are sliding shut and his head keeps falling forward. It's only 9:30, but that is seriously late in his book.

"Bedtime for me," he announces, extracting himself from underneath both Brendon and Ryan's legs, who've been using him as a footrest.

"You're old," Ryan says. Joe only has enough energy to reach over to flick his ear, but Brendon reaches out and catches Joe's wrist, grinning.

"I'm sleepy too," Brendon says. He lets go of Joe's arm and stands up, gives a forced yawn, stretching, arms up over his head, and a little sliver of belly peeks out from under his shirt.

"I really actually am tired," Joe says.

Brendon nods his head in mock solemnity, eyes wide. "Me too, really."

Spencer snorts.

Joe just rolls his eyes. "Right. Goodnight, everybody." Andy doesn't look up from the TV, just gives a wave, and Joe follows Brendon out the door.

He hears the volume on the TV grow significantly louder as they move into the hallway. Spencer Smith is a laugh and a half.

*

[MOAR SEX. Revelation of Brendon's awesome funtimes with Cash. Joe's encouragement to pursue. Mutual declarations of affection but not boyfrenz. Cuddling. Adorableness. Etc.]

*

Joe's up long before the others show any signs of stirring. Brendon just shifts a little when Joe gets up, mumbling into his pillow. Joe grabs a shirt and some pants, and tiptoes out. He finds Andy in the kitchen, kettle already on for tea.

He smiles quietly, passing Joe a cup as Joe gets out a bowl for cereal. They eat in companionable silence for a minute, perched on the stools next to the kitchen counter, before Andy says lightly, "So, you and Brendon."

*

Andy's getting out of an unfamiliar truck when Joe comes home for lunch from Dave and Sam's one morning. He waves to the driver, grabs a bag from the middle seat, and hops out. Andy has no fear of hitchhiking, even in the freakish wilds of Connecticut where you never know what crazy person is going to pick you up in his pickup truck and have his way with you. And ok, he can't say that out loud because he knows how dumb that sounds, and that Andy will roll his eyes and probably call him Mom, so he just grins and walks over.

"I didn't know you were going to be in town," Joe says, and pulls Andy into a hug. Andy smells like home and comfort and familiarity, and he says, "you smell good," without thinking about how weird that sounds.

"You smell like dirt," Andy says, and pulls back with a grin.

"Dirt smells good." Joe's happy to keep the conversation going, if they can forget that Joe was apparently smelling Andy's hair or something.

"Yeah, it actually kind of does," Andy says, surprised, then shoulders his bag. "I thought I'd just come by. Took the train up from New York. Is it ok if I stay for a while?"

Andy ends up staying for two weeks. He picks up the how-to easily from Dave and Sam in the mornings, and in the afternoons follows Joe along through the rows. It's starting to get hot, and on a particularly bad and still day, when the humidity is at about 90%, they spend an hour after lunch weeding the youngest carrot bed on hands and knees before Joe pulls off his hat, wipes the sweat off his face with the bottom of his t-shirt and decides it's time to declare victory and call it a day.

"Too hot," he says. "I need a pool."

Andy looks up and nods, sitting back on his haunches. He's already got his shirt off - it's hanging limply on a stake at the end of the row, no breeze moving it at all. The skin around his tattoos is starting to look a little pink from the sun.

"How deep do you think the creek is?" Andy asks, turning towards the creek that runs around one edge of Joe's field - the really wet part where, Dave has informed him, nothing worth planting can grow. Joe's put down a cover crop of buckwheat to at least cut down on some of the weed germination. It's looking pretty happy and green.

They pad over to the creek, which is a surprisingly clear brown. It's only a few feet across at its widest part, and it winds around the edge of Joe's property, past Dave and Sam's. They can see to the bottom where a few clumps of dead leaves are clinging to a fallen log or two.

"It has to be pretty clean. Dave and Sam use it to irrigate their fields."

Andy bobs his head in agreement, strips off his hat and shorts in one fluid movement, giving Joe a great view of all important Andy bits, and jumps in. He yelps a little from the cold, and then starts moving a bit. Joe's left standing on the bank feeling a little pervy - he just checked out his best friend's ass - before he shakes it off and strips too, jumping in and feeling his entire body jerk with the cold.

"Fuck!" he yells, and Andy laughs.

"It must be mountain water."

*

Trellissing tomatoes 

Panic's overnight visit

Farmer's market in NYC, meeting up with Pete and Ashlee

Watching football

Andy loves harvesting sweet potatoes. Joe loves Andy. 

…

In the end, Andy gets a tattoo representing his feelings for Joe. i.e. LOVE.

In the end, they have a finished, recorded track, called "Lullabye for Baby," Patrick on vocals and guitar, Pete on bass, Joe on fiddle, and Andy on tambourine.

p


End file.
